Memoirs Of A KOK

i've talked abt this to a few friends of mine before..but tonight im ready to say it out here..its ur lucky day people! =P

i 1st met my 1st love in secondary sch..she was from the next class..i still can rem how we 1st talked to each other..she and another fren was at the lockers area, beside my classroom, so i happened to walk past one day, she called my name and i was surprised why wud anyone shout out my name..so i turned and looked at her..i already noe who she is becoz i have a fren tats in her class who likes her..she's none other than Wei Qi..

from then, we got to know each other better, stayed back together after lessons, chatted, played, teased each other, trying to find out who the other party likes..i was very very shy then..so i gave excuses like i like another gal from mgs called catherina and so on..i didnt dare to tell her i have feelings for her..coz i was only a sec 1 kid..but i realised she has feelings for me too..we didnt do anything abt it..juz let it drag..till sept 26..it really used to be a special day for the both of us..till today, every month, i wud still wish her a happy 26th of the month..for sec 2..we were still staying back together almost everyday after lessons..those were the happiest days of my childhood that i will never and can never bring myself to forget..=)

it was only till sec 3 that i 1st held her hands..the image is still so clear..im still able to picture the whole scenario..i was sending her home after Sec 1 Orientation, we were peer leaders then..we were walking very closely next to each other..the tot of holding her hands had been floating in my mind for a long time already..so tada~ her hand accidentally hit mine, and i juz grabbed her by her hand and i was blushing..i felt the hotness on my face..hahaha..she was too shy to look at me in the eyes too..but we had alot of problems too..when 2 gals from sec 1 told me that they liked me..weiqi knew abt it and she even said she was willing to give me up..i was very shattered when i heard those words coming out from her..but i was glad she didnt..we were both too immature..esp me..

sec 4, we are faced with alot of problems..our r/s went off track..but the problems were solved..one of the times we had a huge fight is becoz im really confused between her and another gal..which im really close to..

she's a gal which i met in secondary sch days but was never able to really tell her how i feel abt her..she 1st came to my secondary sch when she was sec 2, she was from Tanglin sec sch..came over from a NA class to joined an express class in my sch..juz 2 classes away from mine..still can rem how cute she looked when she asked my fren for my height..and she stood beside me..she was abt half a head shorter than me la! wahaha..tot she was quite cute..very feminine..till sec 3, i noe its god's will tat we are brought closer together when i was assigned to her class for geography lessons..i sat beside her..we chatted and hitted off quite well..alot of pple are spreading rumours abt us..abt me having an affair..we wud go for recess separately, but whenever we finish eating, we wud go back to the staircase and im always the 1st to reach, with my frens, she wud come later on, sometimes she wud come and sit beside me and we talked abt anything under the sun.. i dun deny i have positive feelings towards her..i was really guilty abt it..to my then gf..im really sorry..

and becoz of certain rumours that were so bad, this gal and i started to drift away, and awkwardness falls in..i still rem that one day, when i went to her class, she pulled another gal to sit with her, and so this other gal was really puzzled coz i always sat with her..so she asked wat happened..and she said "he got gf already wat! later pple anyhow think"..so i was really tonguetied when the other gal told me abt it..well..tats the past..oh ya..from wat i can rem..i even joined her for her class's IT lessons..she asked me if i cud accompany her so i did..i really had alot of fun back then..but..its at the expense of putting someone to extreme level of hurt..i really regret wat i did..im really sorry i didnt spare a tot for ur feelings..but im glad u're so forgiving..

i've seen this gal recently..she's changed alot..bt still as sweet..if you're wondering who she is..she's none other than Ying Ching..

back to the relationship i was mentioning abt earlier on, after o lvls, i went to a poly and she went to a jc, we were faced with even more problems this time round..i accused her of cheating on me which she didnt! i was so stupid then..and i committed a mistake which i can nv make it up to her anymore..so we ended the relationship abruptly, in a swift..

i tried to ask for forgiveness but we both noe tat enough is enough..i've grown up with her as my companion..tats already alot to ask for! so im really happy tat she was there all these years..i took her for granted for so many years already..its really time for me to learn from my mistakes..the harder life hits me, the harder i will bounce back..i was really a very very bad bf to have..im sorry Wei Qi..for putting u thru so much nonsense when you can actually have much better treatment from other guys..im really sorry..

its almost one year since we broke out in august last year..i've learnt alot already..thanks for everything u taught me in the past..thanks for all the memories tat we shared together..

=)

im doing quite well now..hope u are doing better than me..coz tats only right..after suffering so many years of ur childhood with me..

take care..

last but not least, thank you for those willing to fork out time to read this long entry..