Skinnies for you?

I say, singaporeans are a bunch of fickle people. A few years ago, it was the “yo-yo, check-it-out” baggy jeans with the accompanying blings and now, they have gone all extremists by diving headfirst into the leg hugging skinnies. And because I love my dear readers, I am going to sacrifice my priceless jewels and squeeze into a pair to unveil the fuss behind those denims.

The root of all evils.

Thanks to kate moss strutting down the streets in her signature striped top, grey skinny jeans and black ballet flats. We can see the world being overwhelmed by the skinnies phenomena. The tall, the short, the fat, the skinny, the pretty, the ugly(and any other female in Orchard Road) are all wearing them. On the right person, skinny jeans can form the perfect silhouette – tall, lean body coupled with sexy, endless legs.

More often than not, the results are disastrous. Most people seem to forget that kate moss is a beanpole who looks good in practically everything(and that’s why she is a supermodel and you are not).

But, I digress. Thank goodness the skinnies trend has not brainwashed the males – yet. For some(practical) reasons, I am hoping it will never catch on. These denims have been a look synonymous with boy bands, rock bands, or local wannabe boy bands and wannabe rock bands. Other than them, who else can you imagine in a pair of skinny jeans? Picture the chicken rice stall uncle in a pair of skinny jeans. Oh wait, this tops the chart. The Ah Beng squatting by the drain with half his butt crack showing. Save me the visual torment please!

101 reasons why men shouldn’t wear skinny jeans.

After donning one on for myself, I can finally understand why women are always complaining about how tired they are after walking short distances. These jeans are hardly comfortable – there is not much space to move, and are so low rise that when you bend, your skinnies just doooowwwwnnnn while your boxers ride too high up. So not comfortable! Besides, half of our energy is expanded into putting on the jeans. In fact some of my female friends have commented that they need to sit down in order to pull their skinnies on. If females and their slender legs need such effort, what say us men with our manly muscular thighs?

And the ultimate reason why men shouldn’t wear skinny jeans? Plainly put, it is because of my humps, my humps, my not-so-little lumps! Skinnies are so tight fitting that any bulge is going to pop out. We want to impress the girls, not scare them off! And aesthetics isn’t the only reason why my humps are affected. As a metaphor, men’s family jewels are like trees. To grow big and healthy, trees need oxygen, likewise, oxygen is needed to bear fruits, putting on a pair of skinny jeans is like the greenhouse effect on the amazon forest. I really do not want my equipment to shrivel up and die.

Is Singapore ready to take on the skinny wave? My verdict, skinny jeans are only cool on manly guys who derive pleasure from pain.

-extracted from a magazine i came across. LOL.

Picture the chicken rice stall uncle in a pair of skinny jeans.